The Storyteller Cafe senior editor, and at his age he couldn’t be much else, Kenneth Larsen, while butchering last Tuesday’s column, happened to mention how much he was enjoying my partner in crime Jon’s Facebook series of posts #MakeaMovieMoreCanadian.
The object of the post being to share your best Canadian take on famous movie titles, which of course soon devolved into a competition among both US and Canadian movie buffs.
Here are some of our favorites from Jon’s post along with our description of each film.
Willy Wonka & The Poutine Factory
Young Charlie, after spending his last Looney on 23 Kilos of fresh cut fries finds a Golden Cheese Curd and wins a tour of a fabulous poutine factory.
Catch Me If Yukon
A master impersonator leads a Royal Canadian Mountie a merrie chase across the Yukon Territory in a dog sled.
Let’s Not Fight Club
A somewhat upset man meets a strange curling stone salesman and soon finds himself living in the man’s untidy house after his perfect apartment is destroyed. The two bored men form an underground club with stern rules of courtesy.
Tim Horton Hears A Who
Horton discovers the tiny nation of Canada and opens over 4,400 coffee and donut shops and promptly addicts the populace to drive-thru queueing for his strange Double Double brew.
Quebec It Ralph
Tired of being made fun of for his Anglo American French accent Quebec It Ralph strikes out and tries to make himself a free nation.
The Empire Strikes Nickelback
Who wouldn’t?
FootMoose
Moving from the wilds of Minnesota a young moose discovers the Manitoba forest he’s moved to has outlawed B-boying. He faces an uphill battle trying to bring hip-hop and break dancing to his new Canadian home.
“I’ll be in my trailer.” Kevin Peameal star of Foot Moose.
(CP PICTURE ARCHIVE/Brandon Sun-Bruce
Bumstead)
50 Shades Of Eh
A young Vancouver co-ed and a wealthy Toronto businessman consider shagging.
Curl, Interrupted
A young sweeper is torn between the world of the curling sheet and reality.
Aboot A Boy
A 12-year old Toronto boy teaches a Hamilton lout how to stop being such a hoser.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Beavers
In Kincardine, Ontario, a mysterious radioactive ooze mutates four beavers into tail flapping, crime fighting ninjas named after three of Ontario’s Group of Seven artists. The fourth is called Murdoch. The first three share a penchant for country music, poutine, and beer while the fourth beaver enjoys technical journals and long walks on the shores of Lake Huron.
Jackson, Carmichael, and Varley, Murdoch was off solving a case.
The Spy Who Apologized To Me
Agent double-naught-zed, Justin Thyme, politely asks for keys to the Kremlin washroom.
From Winterpeg With Love
Agent double-naught-zed, Justin Thyme, searches for the illusive Wairton Willie to learn if Winter will ever come to an end in Winnipeg.
Hockey Night in the Garden of Good and Evil
What else are you gonna call the Air Canada Centre?
The Grand Edmonton Hotel
The Grand Edmonton Hotel is a popular hotel and hockey resort presided over by concierge Gus Zedro. Zedro prides himself on providing first-class service to the hotel’s guests, including satisfying the sexual needs of the many elderly hockey fans who stay there along with the errant moose.
Captain Canada: Civil Disagreement
Discord breaks out among Canadian superheroes The Comforters when Captain Canada insists on being free to drink beer during lunch breaks.
Planes, Trains, and Snowmobiles
An American and a Canadian are forced to traverse the Canadian prairies together to make it home in time for Thanksgiving but neither can agree when the holiday actually takes place.
The Regina Monologues?
Canadian women spend 90 minutes avoiding discussions about feminine sexuality, personal growth, and hygiene.
North by Northwest Territory
A Toronto businessman is mistaken by CityTV reporters for Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and is pursued across Canada for the Fashion Friday segment of CityLine.
